Good Luck Brooke
by thecarouselneverstopsturning
Summary: Based off Good Luck Charlie, Mondler's daughter makes a video diary for their youngest daughter. Bad summary.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: OK, I'm partially basing this off of 'Good Luck Charlie' but in FRIENDS form. So, Mondler got married in 1999 a few weeks before their son Jonathan was born and months later their daughter Lily came. Around this time, Rachel and Ross reunited then got married and had three kids: Emma, Jason and Jaci. Phoebe is married to a guy named Mike(yes the one in the show) and their two kids are named Matthew and Rayne. Oh yeah, Joey is married to Alex and they have two girl named Jennifer and Autumn. Everyone lives in Long Island and they still kept their apartments in the city. The gang all look like they did in Season nine(currently 'Tow the pedtrician') and they all hold the jobs that they did as of 'Tow the lottery'.

Scene: Their big Long Island house Kitchen (begins with Lily holding camera)

Lily:Hi Brooke! There you are, nine months old and look how cute you are! Yeah..And look how cute I am. It's your big sister Lily here and I'm making this video diary here to help you survive our...special family. Oh, hey looks like Dad taught you how to eat bananas. And there's Mom looking lovelier then ever this morning.

Monica: Not in the mood. Okay I think you've had enough banannas so we're switching to sweet peas! You're gonna love them, look Mommy think there so yummy ...(spit)

Lily: Very smart always let Mommy try it first, 'kay? (Scene switches to Family Room) Oh, there's your older brother Jonathan doing today's homework at the last minute as usual.

Jonathan: This isn't today's homework, it's yesterday's homework.

Lily: There's a chance you two will be in high school together. Oh, and there's Dad preparing for another's day work, he advertises for a living.

Chandler: Honey, come on, we've been through this. I don't advertise for a living, I'm in the advertising fleid.

Lily: Either way, (moves finger across neck, signaling 'dead') So, now you met the whole family.

Anthony: Forgetting somebody?

Lily: Anthony! No,no,no, I,I didn't forget about you! I was just saving the best for last! Brooke, that was your younger, older brother Anthony. (turns to Anthony) You want to say something to Brooke?

Anthony: You ruined my life.

Lily: Okay, so, it's taking Anthony a little longer to get used to you. Your kind of a suprise...

Anthony: Thought suprises were supposed to be good.

Lily: And Cut. (puts away camera)

Monica: Okay gang, listen up! I'm going back to work tonight at the resturant for the first time since Brooke was born. So I want everybody to stay at home and help Dad with the baby.

Llly: No Mom, I'm not going to be here tonight, I have a study date at the library.

Monica: Ugghh...

Jonathan: Don't you mean studly date? With Joshua?(makes kissing noises)

Lily: Oh save it for your pillow!

Monica: I'm sorry, Lily but you'are just gonna have to reschedule

Lily But Dad...

Monica: Chandler.

Chandler: Um, Dad's not available right now.

Lily: Mom, don't take this the wrong way, but why did you guys have to have another baby?

Monica: Well, because three kids were just too easy, three's for quiters!

Chandler: And Lily, you know better to schedule a study date with a boy I never met. Come on, as Dad it's my reponsibility to know every detail in my kids' life.

Anthony: Oh yeah? What school do I go to?

Chandler: Um..The school named after that president? (Anthony shakes his head) Hey, you know what? I drive you kids to school!

Lily: Let's go.

Anthony: But. I haven't even have had breakfast yet!

Chandler: Let's go.

Anthony:..most important meal of the day! (looks at kitchen) Never got it.

Chandler: Let's go. (motions at door)I gotta get you to mm..ro..Rossevelt?

Anthony: WASHINGTON!

Chandler: Got it.

[Scene: Living Room that evening.]

Monica: Chandler, honey, I'm leaving for work! Okay Honey, here's Brooke's when to feed her, when to change her, and when to put her down.

Chandler: Sweatheart, won't you relax? Big Daddy's got it all under control.

Monica: Okay just beacuse thats on your barbeque apron doesn't make it , if Brooke gets fussy, her rubber ducky will calm her down. They're all over the place, please be careful. They're all over the place.

Chandler: Honey, you seem to be forget I was fully involved in the raising of three kids.

Anthony: Well, yeah? When's my birthday?

Chandler: July 12th.

Anthony: November 23rd.

Chandler: Got it.

Monica: Good luck Brooke.

Brooke: ...

(Monica kisses Brooke)

Monica :Bye.

(Monica kisses Chandler , then leaves for work)

Anthony: Hey Dad.

Chandler: Yup?

Anthony: I have a homework question.

Chandler: Okay fire away.

Anthony: Can the average human lick his own armpit?

Chandler: Umm...(trys to lick his armpit) Yeah.

Anthony: Thanks.

Chandler: So what was that? Like a science question?

Anthony: Nope.

[Scene: Lily runs into Family Room]

Lily: I'll get it.I'll get it, I'll get it. Nobody else get it.(points to Chandler) Hi.

Joshua: Hi.

Chandler:: Hi, I am Lily"s dad.

Joshua: Nice to meet you sir.

Lily: Um, me and Joshua are studying for our biology test tomorrow.

Chandler: Are you now?

Lily: Yes, yes we are so could everybody please leave (referring to Lily)-not you.

Chandler: Lily.

Lily: Yeah.

Chandler: I thought your mom said no study date!

Lily: Yeah at the library.

Chandler: Oh right OK. So then you've talked to her about this.

Lily: Of course I did (Chandler nods) I mean I'm.. I'm pretty sure I did. I just talk to so many people about so many different things.

Joshua Why is there a giant dinosaur in your house?

Chandler: That my friend is the Jerusalem dinosaur better known by the laymen as the potato dinosaur. That's my wife's brother's dinosaur- he's a palentologist and I'm in the advertisement fleid.(mutters under his breath 'kill Ross')

Lily: Here we go.

Chandler: See my add on local cable. Advertisements Be There.

Lily: Yeah how do we make You be there?

Chandler: OK. You've got homework to do, I've got a diaper to change. Hers not mine. (Laughs) I ain't that. continues laughing). I'll be upstairs.

Lily: Anthony, out!

Anthony: OK, Fine. But when's that hot guy getting here?

Lily: (chases Anthony) OUT!

(Anthony runs into kitchen. Lily and Joshua sit on couch)

Lily: Kids.

(They start to pull out books)

Joshua: Man, I forgot my book at school.

Lily: Oh, that's ok. We can just... share mine (sit closer together). Is that ok?

Joshua: Perfect.

(Both smile and nod)

Lily: Good. Cause I'm all about the learning.

Joshua: Let me just grab a pencil

Lily: Yeah I might have one.

(Both look in bags. Joshua sprays his breath, Lily applies lip gloss)

Lily: I think I left my pencils at school.

Joshua: Me too (blows his breath at her)

(Sit and smile at each other for a few seconds)

Jonathan(off screen): Ladies and gentlemen! Jonathan and the Weirdos! (start playing music really bad)

Joshua: Wow! Sounds like you live right next to that weird Jonathan guy.

Lily: Yeah, he's not next door. He's downstairs. And he's my brother.

Joshua (shocked): Oh sorry!

Lily: Yeah, me too!

Anthony(from the kitchen): I'm hungry!

Lily: Then make yourself something!

Joshua: Wow, your feisty.

Lily: I know! Wait, I sound like my mom.

Joshua: You know, I like girls who can sound like their mom.

(They are just about to kiss until Chandler comes to the stairs with Baby Brooke)

Chandler: Hey, none of that while you are under my roof!

Lily: You sound like Uncle Joey.

Chandler: I'm very well aware of that.(Slips on one of Brooke's rubber duckies and falls on his ass. Brooke fell in his arms) Ah!

Lily: Dad are you ok?

Anthony: Woah, that was awesome!

Chandler: I'm gonna be fine. Tell Jonathan that we are going to your mother's restruant.

(Later on that evening)

Lily(On camera): So, Dad fell on his butt then him and Jonathan surpised Mom at her restruant.

Chandler: Good luck Brooke.


	2. Chapter 2

1x02 - Baby Come Back

 _Lily is in the living room making a video diary for Brooke._

 **LILY** _(into camera)_

Hi, Brooke. It's Lily here. So, right now, you're nine months old, and everything is going great. Well, almost everything. Now, what I'm about to show you is kind of disturbing. So brace yourself.

 _Lily steps through into the kitchen with the video camera and Anthony walks past. Jonathan is sitting at the table with his headphones over his ears. Lily pans in closer to Chandler and Monica , the parents of the house, who are at the kitchen bench making sandwiches and talking like babies._

 **MONICA** _(baby talk, holding a plate of sandwiches)_

Hmm, these sandwiches will be yummy-wummy.

 **CHANDLER** _(baby talk)_

Yes they will, yes they will.

 _Lily turns the camera onto her again._

 **LILY** _(into camera)_

Mom and dad have been talking like that ever since you arrived, and if it's not over soon _(waves a finger around her head)_ , I'm gunna' go queasy-weasy.

 _Lily closes the video camera and puts it down on the bench. Over at the table, Anthony is yelling at Jonathan._

 **ANTHONY** _(shouting)_

Jonathan!

 **JONATHAN** _(shouting)_

What?!

 **ANTHONY** _(shouting)_

What are you listening to?!

 _Jonathan takes off one headphone so he can hear._

 **JONATHAN**

I downloaded a podcast on the history of ballet.

 **ANTHONY**

You like that?

 **JONATHAN**

More than baby talk.

 _Over at the bench.._

 **MONICA** _(baby talk)_

Would you like some fishy-wishies with your (?).

 **CHANDLER** _(baby talk)_

I would, yes I would.

 _Lily is in front of them at the bench and points at the baby pram which is empty._

 **LILY**

You guys, Brooke isn't even here.

 **MONICA** _(baby talk)_

No, little baby take a nappy-wappy upst'wairs.

 **LILY**

So why are you guys still talking like that?

 **CHANDLER** _(baby talk, leaning down, seriously)_

I don't r'weally know.

 **MONICA**

I guess we're just kinda' fried.

 **CHANDLER** _(laughing slightly)_

We work all day, take care of the baby all night. Work-shift, baby-shift. I barely got time to make "do-do''.

 **LILY**

Well, when was the last time you guys had a night out? You know, like-like just the two of you. Like a date!

 _Chandler and Monica turn and look at each other seriously for a second but then burst out laughing._

 _CHANDLER (to Monica , through laughter)_

Lily made us funny. Hahahahahaha.

 **MONICA** _(to Lily, baby talk)_

Funny-wunny.

 **LILY** _(with determination)_

No, but seriously. You know what? Saturday night. You two. You go out, you have fun, and do something besides work, take care of the baby, and... make "do-do".

 _Lily walks over and joins the boys at the table._

 **MONICA** _(going to the fridge)_

Well, it's nice to dream, but who's gonna' take care of Brooke?

 _Lily leans in between Jonathan and Anthony and puts her arm around them._

 **LILY**

Hello? You've got three great babysitters here.

 **JONATHAN** _(shouting, to Anthony)_

I'm glad I didn't hear that!

 _Chandler and Monica stand in front of the kids._

MONICA

I dunno', Lily, it's a really nice thought, but we're not ready to go out without Brooke just yet.

 **ANTHONY** _(changing the subject)_

You guys wanna' see a magic trick?

 **MONICA**

Sure!

 **CHANDLER**

Okay.

 **ANTHONY** _(magician-like voice, rubbing his hands together)_

Prepare to be amazed.

 _Chandler and Monica pull faces as though they are captivated. Anthony waits a second and then pulls the sheet on the table from beneath the plates and glasses and everything goes smashing everywhere._

 **MONICA**

I could use a night out.

 _Monica walks off._

 **OPENING CREDITS**

 _Lily is walking Chandler and Monica to the door as they get ready to go out. She is holding Brooke._

 _LILY_

Alright. So you guys have fun. Stay out as late as you want. _(pause)_ But not TOO much fun, we have enough kids already.

 _Chandler laughs. Monica pats Brooke goodbye and walks to the door._

 **LILLY [CONT'D; to CHANDLER ]**

I'm serious.

 **MONICA**

Okay, everyone. Be good, have fun. Love you.

 _Monica walks out the door. Jonathan and Anthony are on the couch watching a laptop._

 **JONATHAN/ANTHONY** _(uninterested)_

Yeah, yeah...

 **CHANDLER**

Hey Lily, thanks for doing this. It's going to be good for your mother and I have to have some special time together.

 **MONICA (VO)**

 _(calling from outside) CHANDLER_! MOVE YOUR BUTT!

 **CHANDLER** _(calling back)_

I'm comin'!

 _Chandler moves outside. Lily walks over to the couch, still nursing Brooke, to talk to the boys._

 **LILY**

Okay, so. If we divide it up evenly, we all get to spend an hour with Brooke. _(happily)_ Who wants to go first?

 **ANTHONY**

I think you should go first.

 **JONATHAN**

And second and third, since this was your idea.

 **LILY** _(distressed)_

Hey, I'm not doing this all by myself! You guys have to help out.

 **JONATHAN** _(standing, with a sigh)_

Fine. I'll go fourth.

 **LILY**

There is no fourth.

 **JONATHAN** _(with an accent)_

I meant, "I shall go forth to the park to shooteth some hoop."

 _Jonathan goes to walk out, and Lily_ _pulls him back by his hoodie._

 **LILY**

If you want to go to the park so badly, then why don't you just take Brooke?

 **JONATHAN**

Well what's a baby supposed to do at a park?

 _Lily passes Brooke into Jonathan's arms._

 **LILY**

Babies love parks. You can show her the duck pond...the blue sky...the clouds...

 **JONATHAN** _(complaining)_

We're just going to look at stuff? That's what TV is for!

 _Lily points at Jonathan as if to encourage his departure._

 _At the park, Brooke is lying in her stroller to the side of the sea-saw area. Jonathan is having a good old time on a blue one person sea-saw that he is far too big for. A young boy is waiting in line to have a go and is looking impatiently at Jonathan as he swings back and forth shouting with enjoyment._

 **JONATHAN** _(swinging on the ride)_

YEAH-HHHAA! Alright! This is great! Weeehhhh! Yess! WHOA! _(to the boy staring at him)_ What are you looking at?! I was here first. _(pointing to the ride behind)_ Hey, you can ride that duck. I-I couldn't ride the duck. I'd look silly on the duck. _(the boy just continues to stare at him)_ FINE. _(Jonathan gives in and gets off the ride. He goes over to the stroller and leans down to Brooke's level, talking with enthusiasm)_ Hey there, Brooke! Are we having fun yet? Alright...

 _Jonanthan puts the sun pullover up and continues walking through the park. An older, larger-sized man walks through the park towards Jonathan. He is wearing a purple suit and a cape, dressed like a superhero. He leans on a post, short of breath._

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY** _(to Jonathan)_

Hey. You seen a-a... kids birthday party around here anywhere? I'm the entertainment.

 **JONATHAN** _(pointing behind)_

I saw a bounce-house on the other end of the park.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Bouncy-house, eh? Great, another trip to the ER.

 _Captain Stretchy starts to walk off, Jonathan turns and follows him a bit._

 **JONATHAN**

Who are you supposed to be, anyway? Plastic-man? Rubber-man?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Oh, those are all registered trademarks. _(proudly)_ I'm Captain Stretchy. _(pointing to the middle of his suit)_ Ah, there used to be a C.S. here, but it ah... it came off in the wash.

 **JONATHAN**

So what's your super power?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Super elasticity. _(notices something on the ground)_ Hey, look, there's a quarter! _(goes to lean over but finds it difficult to stretch down)_ Oh!...Ah, forget it. Not like it's a dollar, right?

 _Captain Stretchy walks off. Jonathan tuns to walk away with the stroller and notices a beautiful young lady coming his way, with the exact same stroller. His face lights up as he is automatically attracted to her, she smiles at him in return. Jonathan does a loop around her, bumping into a post, until he is at her side._

 **JONATHAN** _(brightly):_ Hi.

 **SAMANTHA:** Hi.

JONATHAN: I, ah... I like your taste in strollers.

 **SAMANTHA** _(chuckles)_

He he... thanks, you too. _(looking at Brooke_ _, soft voice)_ Oh, wow! That baby is so cute.

 **JONATHAN**

You two. _(Samatha looks stunned)_ Oh, I mean... YOURS too.

 **SAMANTHA**

I'm Samantha.

 **JONATHAN**

I'm Jonathan. _(pointing at Samantha's stroller)_ Who's this little guy?

 **SAMANTHA** _(proudly; pulling the sun-cover)_

My brother. We're just out for our stroll. We do this every day.

 **JONATHAN** _(trying to impress)_

Us two. Like I always say, babies love parks. _(pause... points towards the park chairs)_ Would you like to sit for a bit?

 **SAMANTHA**

Sure. _(the two of them push their strollers over to the chairs as they sit)_ So, I saw you talking to Captain Stretchy earlier.

 **JONATHAN**

Oh, yeah. He was lost. Not much of a superhero, right?

 **SAMANTHA**

Oh, he's the worst. We hired him for my brother's birthday party, and he sat on the cake.

 **JONATHAN**

That sounds awful.

 **SAMANTHA**

Oh, it gets worse. The candles were lit, so he sat in the punch.

 **JONATHAN**

That is so weird. I mean, he looks like such a quality entertainer.

 _The two of them chuckle_

 **SAMANTHA**

You know, Jonathan, I'm really impressed that you take your sister to the park. My brothers would never do anything like that.

 **JONATHAN**

Well, I hope not. _(pause)_ She is _my_ sister.

 _Samantha and Jonathan chuckle again._

 _Back home at the house, Lily is sitting on the couch and Anthony is standing in front of her wearing a magician's hat._

 **ANTHONY**

Now, watch closely. In this hand, I have a quarter. _(shows the coin)_ And in the other hand, an ordinary egg. _(shows the egg in the other hand... takes off his hat and places them both inside)_ Now, I put them both inside this hat... spin them around a little... _(does so)_... and PRESTO.

 _Anthony tips the hat upside down... and both items fall out. The egg cracks open on the coffee table, protected by a piece of newspaper._

 **LILY**

Just out of curiosity, what was supposed to happen?

 _There is an awkward staring moment between the two siblings. The quiet is broken as the front door bursts open and Jonathan comes walking through with an energetic persona, pram in front of him._

 **JONATHAN** _(enthused)_

I love this baby! Any time she wants to go to the park, sign me up.

 **LILLY** _(walking over)_

What happened to you?

 _Jonathan shuts the front door, and Anthony lies comfortably on the couch._

 **JONATHAN**

Let's just say... Brooke made a friend, Jonathan made a friend.

 _Lily goes to look at Brooke but smells something..._

 **LILY**

Oh, and did either you or your friend bother to change a diaper?

 _LilY takes the stroller and walks around the lounge._

 **JONATHAN**

There was no time for that. I was too busy talking to Samantha. _(sits down on the couch beside Anthony)_

 **ANTHONY**

Who's Samantha?

 **JONATHAN** _(dreamily)_

A vision... an Angel... the girl who has moved into my heart.

 **ANTHONY** _(cheekily)_

Did you tell her about the vacancy in your brain?

 _Jonathan looks slightly offended._

 **LILY** _(panicked, looking in the stroller)_

Jonathan...

 **JONATHAN**

What?

 **LILY**

You brought home the wrong baby!

 **JONATHAN** _(trying to laugh it off)_

What? I did not... !

 _Jonathan and Anthony walk over to the stroller and are stunned as they notice the authenticity of Lily's previous statement... Jonathan did bring home the wrong baby!_

 **LILY** _(removing the diaper)_

Take a look... wrong parts!

 _As the three look inside the stroller, a big spray of urine comes out as if it was aimed directly for them. They dodge it, only just._

ANTHONY: There's nothing wrong with those parts!

 _Anthony goes back to the couch... Jonathan and Lily remain standing in shock as they come to terms with what has just happened..._

 **LILY** _(frustrated)_

How could you bring home the wrong baby?!

 **JONATHAN**

I'm sorry, I got a little distracted... _(grinning)_...Samantha is REALLY cute.

 **LILY**

Yeah? Well, so was our sister. _(walking towards the door with the stroller)_ Come on, let's go to the park and find her.

 **JONATHAN**

Relax! I got her number.

 **LILY**

Well, then what are you waiting for? Call her!

 _Jonathan goes to get his phone from his pocket... but hesitates... then sits down on the couch._

 **JONATHAN** _(unsure)_

Wait a minute...is it too soon? If I call now, she'll think I'm desperate.

 **LILY**

Oh, you ARE desperate.

 **JONATHAN**

Good point. _(Jonathan gets to his feet and dials up Samantha's number, raising the phone to his ears as he talks...)_ Hello...? Is Samantha there? _(pause)_ This is a Chinese restaurant?(Lily _rolls her eyes)_ Sure, I'll hear the specials!

 _Lily, annoyed, hangs up the phone._

 **LILY** _(let down)_

She gave you the wrong number.

 _Anthony is still alert to the situation around him, but is sitting on the couch reading through a comic book._

 **ANTHONY** _(sarcastically)_

Who couldn't see that one coming?

 **JONATHAN** _(disappointed)_

But... I gave her gum... and helped her change a poopey diaper... it was so romantic.

 **LILY**

Well... what do we do now?

 _Lily's mobile starts ringing. She goes over and looks put off as she inspects the caller ID..._

 **LILY**

Oh no... _(answers phone, with nervous enthusiasm)_ Hi Mom, what up? ...Yeah, everything's going great. Why wouldn't it be? We're...we're just having a grand old time here with... _(tries to figure out the name of the baby in the stroller, but Jonathan shrugs)_... baby. Yeah, sure you can talk to him... HER, HER! _(holding the phone down to the stroller)_ Talk to Mommy... _(realizes she must make something up, starts making baby-monkey noises)_...Well, what do you mean that didn't sound like Brooke? What, you think I'm just making baby noises into the phone? Mom, that's crazy. Alright, bye... say bye Brooke! _(makes distant baby noises and fades it off as she hangs up the phone)_ Ahh...

 **JONATHAN**

Not that I'm in the position to criticize, but I was getting more monkey.

 _Lily decides to start taking action to solve the problem and reaches for the stroller._

 **LILY**

Come on, let's go to the park.

 **ANTHONY**

And meet the girl who blew off Jonathan? _(stands)_ I'm there.

 _The three of them head out the door. Jonathan looks annoyed at Anthony._

 _Lily comes walking into the park, panicked, and pushing the stroller in front. Jonathan and Anthony are coming in behind her._

 **JONATHAN** _(looking around)_

I don't see her.

 **LILY**

Jonathan, what did she look like?

 **JONATHAN**

She was hot, but what does it matter?

 **ANTHONY**

Maybe we should call someone...who do you call when you switch a baby?

 **JONATHAN**

Captain Stretchy!

 _Jonathan excitedly points over to the other entrance of the park, where Captain Stretchy is still hanging out._

 **LILY**

Who is that?

 _Jonathan runs over to Captain Stretchy. He seems enthused._

 **JONATHAN**

You're still here?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Every Saturday and Sunday, all day long. Stay in school, kids.

 _Captain Stretchy leans over to the bubbler and gets a drink. By now, Anthony and Lily with the stroller are behind him._

 **JONATHAN**

Just the guy we needed to see. I-I think you can help us.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Hey, kid, I'm just an entertainer. I can't get Mommy and Daddy back together.

 _Captain Stretchy starts to walk off. The kids follow him._

 **JONATHAN**

No, you don't understand. I was talking to a girl here earlier, and she said that you worked a party for her brother.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

So? I've worked lots of parties.

 **JONATHAN**

Where was the party where you sat on the cake?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

You got three hours?

 **LILY** _(despairingly)_

This is really important. We need to find her.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY** _(as though he is plotting something)_

Interesting situation. You kids need info, and I...need a murdle. _(places hands across his stomach)_

 **LILY**

What is a murdle?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

It's a man gurtle. And they ain't cheap.

 **LILY** _(referring to Captain Stretchy's clothing)_

Yeah, and neither is dry-cleaning, apparently.

 **JONATHAN**

Name's Samantha. Did she come back to the park?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Well... _(rubs his fingers together as though looking for money)_...maybe she did, and maybe she didn't.

 **JONATHAN** _(frustrated)_

Stop rubbing your fingers together and answer my question!

 **ANTHONY**

He wants a bribe.

 _Jonathan mutters under his breath as he reaches into his pocket and gets out his wallet, passing Captain Stretchy a note._

 **JONATHAN**

Here.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Here's what I know: her name is Samantha.

 **JONATHAN**

I just told you that!

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

I didn't say the information was fresh. _(on Jonathan's disgruntled look)_ Yeah...yeah, I know the girl. She-she comes from a big family, seven/eight kids...for them, I've been uh...Astronaut Pete, ah...Cowboy Bob...ah...

 **ANTHONY**

Magic Marve?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY** _(hopeful)_

Yeah! You're familiar with my work?

 **ANTHONY** _(almost as if he is going to give a compliment)_

Yeah!...and it stinks. _(pause)_ I'm just starting off and I'm a better magician than you are.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Oh, yeah? You think this is easy, huh? _(hands Anthony an unblown balloon)_ Here, turn that into a schnauzer. _(Anthony just stares blankly at the balloon)_ You can't do it, ah? Ha ha ha...maybe it's because you don't have the _(shouts)_ CHOPS!

 _Anthony eyes off Captain Stretchy as he walks away._

 **LILY**

Look, Stretchy, do you know where she lives?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Yeah, 'round here somewhere. I'd know it if I saw it.

 **LILY** _(smiling)_

Great! You help us tonight, and we'll get you into that murdle tomorrow. _(pause)_ Oh, wait, you understand...we're not going to put you INTO it...that you have to do by yourself.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Yeah, I get it.

 **LILY**

All right. Come on guys, we have to go find her.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Okay. Captain Stretchy, AWAY! _(points his arms up towards the sky like a superhero and turns left)_

 **JONATHAN** _(pointing right ahead)_

Porche's this way.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Oh, right...

 _Embarrassed, Captain Stretchy turns around and follows the kids out of the park._

 _Chandler and Monica are sitting a table in a restaurant, looking at the menu._

 _CHANDLER (proudly)_

Order whatever you want, honey. I get a discount here. This place is one of my best customers.

MONICA

Not what you want to hear from an advertiser.

 _Across from where Chandler and Monica are sitting, is a family that has a stroller next to their table. The baby inside starts crying._

 **MONICA [CONT'D]**

Awwahh, look at that.

 **CHANDLER** _(misunderstanding)_

Oh, the heaters...

 **MONICA**

Not that. The baby...it's a little baby in a stroller just like ours.

 _And not only is it the same stroller...it's Samantha's family. Brooke is inside the stroller._

 **CHANDLER**

Okay, honey, this is supposed to be a night _away_ from the baby, so let's come back.(Brought both of her hands up to his lips, and kissed them.)

 **MONICA** _(calmly)_

Okay. I'm back, I'm back! _(gets up)_ I'm just gonna' run to the ladies room.

 **CHANDLER**

Oh! Hey, listen. While you're in there, could you chuck the traps?

 _Monica rolls her eyes and continues on. As she passes Samantha's family, she looks inside the stroller, smiles and continues past...but then notices that the baby inside the stroller is surprisingly familiar...so she turns back and takes another look. Samantha's family looks at her. She stares back._

 **MONICA** _(waving; awkwardly)_

Olah. _(smiles...pause)_ Adios. _(walks angrily and briskly over to her table again, tapping Chandler on the back, speaks in a hushed, agitated tone) Chandler_! Would you go over there and look at that baby? I think it's Brooke!

 **CHANDLER** _(in disbelief)_

What?!

 **MONICA** _(distressed)_

You heard me! That is Brooke!

CHANDLER

Sweetheart, would you sit down?

 **MONICA** _(agitated)_

I will NOT sit down. A mother knows her baby, and that is MY baby.

 **CHANDLER** _(laughs nervously)_

Okay, honey...seriously, what do you think happened here? In the last hour, somebody went over to our house, borrowed our baby, then brought her out for chips and guac?

 **MONICA**

I don't know. It's a big family...maybe that's how they get their babies!

 **CHANDLER**

Sweetheart, please...I think you're just missing Brooke. And you're having a little _separation anxiety_.

 _Monica finally comes to her senses. She calms down in her manner, brushes her hair away from her face._

 **MONICA** _(relaxed)_

Oh, okay...you're... _(high pitched, pointing into her head)_ "Crazy, crazy".

 _The two of them chuckle as she sits down again._

 **MONICA** _(through laughter)_

I mean, that is impossible, right?

 **CHANDLER**

Exactly.

 _Pause._

 **MONICA**

I'm just gonna' go to the ladies room one more time... _(stands)_

 **CHANDLER**

Sit down.

 _Monica sits down again._

 **CHANDLER**

Now let's enjoy the rest of our night out, at this very lovely restaurant. Okay?

 **MONICA** _(nodding)_

Okay.

 _A waiter from the restaurant comes over and whispers something in Chandler_ _'s ear, while Monica is distracted eating something from the entrée. Chandler dismisses the waiter._

 **CHANDLER** _(to Monica)_

I'm needed in the kitchen.

 _Chandler gets a glass and jumps up from the table. He runs away into the kitchen. After he is gone, Monica puts down the chip in her hand with a disgusted facial expression._

 _Out on the streets, Jonathan is driving the kids and Captain Stretchy around. They are looking around, calling out for Brooke. Lily and Jonathan are in the front, Anthony in the back with Captain Stretchy._

 **LILY** _(calling out the window)_

Brooke?

 **JONATHAN** _(calling out the window also)_

Samantha?

 **LILY**

Brooke?

 **JONATHAN**

Samantha?

 **ANTHONY**

Marco?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Polo!i

 **LILY** _(angry)_

Anthony, not helping! Stretchy, does any of this look familiar? _(points out the window)_

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Maybe it does...maybe it doesn't.

 **LILY** _(angry)_

You are _not_ getting any more money.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

No, I mean I have night blindness and all...all I'm seeing is shapes.

 **LILY**

Why didn't you mention that earlier?

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

I needed a ride home. Stop here. _(Jonathan stops the car)_ Oh great, mom's up...maybe I'll just hang with you kids.

 **LILY** _(flustered)_

Captain Stretchy, away! _(points out the car)_

 _Captain Stretchy takes off his seatbelt and gets out of the car._

 **JONATHAN**

Night, Stretchy.

 **ANTHONY**

Night, Stretchy.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Goodnight. _(closes the door and walks ahead out of sight)_

 **ANTHONY**

...Now what?

 **JONATHAN**

Well, we didn't hit the streets on the north end of the park?

 **LILY**

Yeah, but we can't just keep driving around all night. Okay? It's over. We have to tell mom and dad.

 **JONATHAN**

But...

 **LILY** _(interrupting)_

No, it'll be okay. They'll know what to do. They always do.

 _Jonathan looks ashamed of himself, downer in facial expression._

 **JONATHAN**

How am I gonna tell them I lost our baby sister? _(pause)_ I'm the oldest...they're not going to think I'm the most responsible.

 **LILY**

Jonathan, if it makes you feel any better...nobody thinks that.

 **JONATHAN** _(takes a deep breath)_

Why do I always mess everything up?

 **LILY** _(trying to comfort Jonathan)_

You know what? This could have happened to any of us. _(pause)_ All right, probably, most likely you, but...for this one, we're all in it together.

 **JONATHAN** _(cheered a little)_

Thanks.

 _Anthony has picked up a little card from the back._

 **ANTHONY**

Hey, look. Captain Stretchy dropped his driver's licence. _(laughs, after reading it)_ One hundred and seventy five pounds my butt!

 _Anthony chucks it out the window._

 _Back at the restaurant, Chandler and Monica now have their meals. There is a band of three people playing Mexican music with instruments, standing right next to their table. Chandler 'bobbles' his head to the beat, as he seems to enjoy it...Monica, on the other hand, is sitting there with her arm on her forehead as though she is nursing a headache. They finish after a few seconds more and Monica claps them off, happy as they walk away to the next table. Not long after, Lily, Jonathan and Anthony (Lily with the stroller) enter into the restaurant from around the corner._

 **JONATHAN** _(pointing at Chandler and Monica )_

There they are.

 **LILY**

All right, let's get this over with.

 **JONATHAN**

Do-do you think it would be better or worse if we had the _(points to the band)_ (?) deliver the news?

 **LILY**

Well, if it's Spanish, probably better...

 _As the band walks away from the table...PJ notices straight away that it is Samantha's family sitting there. Jonathan stops Lily from walking over to their parents._

 **JONATHAN**

Wait, wait! I don't believe it. _(pointing)_ That's Samantha!

 **LILY** _(hopeful)_

Oh, wait, so that's Brooke?

 **JONATHAN**

Yes! We're saved!

 **Anthony** _(pointing)_

Not quite.

 _Jonathan and Lily have seem to forgotten one thing...the parents Chandler and Monica are waving at them. Monica has an enthusiastic smile on her face._

 **MONICA**

Hey, kids!

 _The three of them wave back with uncomfortable smiles._

 **JONATHAN**

What now?

 **LILY**

Ah...I'll let you know when I think of it. _(walks over to Chandler and Monica's table)_ Mom, dad...hi.

 **MONICA**

Hi!

 **CHANDLER**

What are you doing here?

 **LILY**

Well, we just realized you must be missing Brooke, so we... brought her. _(points behind)_

 **MONICA**

Oh, Lily. You're not fooling me.

 **LILY** _(alarmingly)_

I'm not?!

 **MONICA**

Nope. You've spent a little too much time with Brooke, and you're ready to hand her over early.

 **LILY**

Well, I...I wouldn't say _too much_ time.

MONICA

Well, I am ready too. So let me at her! Gimme, gimme, gimme...

 _Monica stands and heads for the stroller at the door, but Lily stops her._

 **LILY**

Mom! Mom! You're on a date. _(sits Monica back down)_ Let me bring her to you.

MONICA

Okay...

 _Lily runs back over to the entrance where Jonathan and Anthony are. Lily leans over and whispers something in Anthony's ear._

 **ANTHONY**

Here? _(Lily whispers again)_ Wait...now? Well, all right...

 _Anthony walks over to Chandler and Monica 's table._

 **ANTHONY**

Hey mom!

 **MONICA**

Hey, baby.

 **ANTHONY**

Hey, dad.

 **CHANDLER**

Hey.

 **ANTHONY**

Something I want to show you.

 **MONICA**

What is it, honey?

 _Anthony is going to do his magic trick again. He reaches for the table cloth underneath all their food and pulls it out, food goes flying all over their faces...everything happens in slow motion..._

 **CHANDLER**

No!

 _But it's too late. As this distracts Chandler and Monica , Lily picks up the boy inside Brooke's stroller as Samantha also seizes the opportunity and takes Brooke from her brother's stroller...Lily runs over, almost bumping into the band, and twirls around as she and Samantha swap babies. Lily runs back to Brooke's pram and places their sister right where she should be. Jonathan waves down his arm with a triumphant grin. They put the cover down and Lily stands up, flicking her hair back. Chandler and Monica are still completely oblivious. Normal-motion resumes as Monica looks angrily at Anthony, she has guacamole all down her neck. Anthony tries to look innocent._

 **ANTHONY**

And now for my next trick...I'm gonna make a boy disappear!

 _Anthony runs away quicker than ever and out the door. Jonathan walks over and meets Samantha who has stood up._

 **JONATHAN**

You know, you should be ashamed of yourself. You lead a guy on, make him think you have a connection... and you give him a fake phone number. _(holds out his phone)_

 **SAMANTHA** _(looking at the screen)_

You put it in wrong. That 3 is supposed to be a 2.

 _Jonathan looks embarrassed._

 **JONATHAN**

Oh...my bad. _(awkward pause)_ So...want to get a table?

 _Samantha looks disappointed and walks off. Jonathan follows after her. Over at Chandler and Monica's table, Lily is handing Brooke over to Monica ._

 **MONICA**

My widdle baby... _(in a baby voice, to Brooke)_ Did you miss your mommy and daddy?

 **CHANDLER** _(to Brooke, in a baby voice)_

Yes you did, yes you did.

 _Lily is smiling away, probably unable to believe they pulled everything off that they did._

 **LILY**

Oh...never thought I'd be so happy to hear baby talk.

 _Monica notices she is holding a dummy that is not Brooke's._

 **MONICA**

Lily, this isn't Brooke's binky. Where did you get this?

 **LILY**

Oh, that's actually a funny story. You see, what happened was...

 _Lily starts clicking behind herself in a violent rush in hope of getting the band to start playing again. They get the signal and do so..._

 **LILY** _(shrugging)_

Too loud! Tell you later.

 _Monica thinks nothing more of it and takes a finger lick of the guacamole on her neck. She shrugs to Chandler as if to say, "oh, not to bad"._

 _Back at the Bing Residence, during the night. Lily is filming a video diary and is shooting footage of Brooke in a toy seat cradle. She is wearing a napkin that says, "DR POOPER"._

 **LILY (VO)**

Yeahhh... Well, Brooke, now you're home – safe and sound, and everything turned out okay. For you. _(clears throat and turns the camera around so it shows her face, she is sitting on the sofa)_ It would've been okay for us too, but...when we got home, Mom started asking all these questions...and no one really had an answer to the pee stains in the living room.

 _Monica comes into view of the video diary recording, as she sits beside Lily._

 **MONICA** _(gracefully, almost)_

And that's when the truth came out. _(smiles)_ And all the kids got into trouble. So, the lesson is, if you ever try to pull anything over on Mom... _good luck Brooke_.

 _Monica stands and walks off, leaving Lily. Pause._

 **LILY** _(tuffs)_

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 _Lily switches off the video recorder._

 _Another day in the park, Captain Stretchy is sitting on a park bench and Anthony is in front of him, with a magician's hat. He is holding a coin and an egg._

 **ANTHONY**

In this hand, I have a quarter... _(waves the coin in Captain Stretchy's face, he tries to grab it but Anthony pulls it away)_ And in the other hand, an ordinary egg... _(the same thing happens, takes off his hat)_ Now, I put them in this hat... _(does so)_ Spin them around... and... Presto. _(takes just the egg from the hat and puts the hat back on)_ Now hold out your hand.

 _Captain Stretchy holds out his hand. Anthony cracks open the egg on Stretchy's forehead (no yolk or egg comes out). He puts the shell on Captain Stretchy's hand and a quarter is there._

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY** _(inspecting the coin)_

Wow...ah, that's a great trick! How did you do that?

 **ANTHONY** _(pacing back and forth diabolically)_

Interesting situation. It seems you need information, meanwhile...I need a new video game. _(rubs his hands together as though wanting money...Stretchy reaches to his side and gives Anthonya note. He walks off grinning...)_ What a chump.

 **CAPTAIN STRETCHY**

Who are you calling a 'chump'? Come back here!

 _Captain Stretchy gets up from his seat and follows after Anthony._

 _END_


End file.
